So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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