just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
