all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
