Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
