I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
