Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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