There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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