Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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