Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
