Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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