I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
