is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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