a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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