the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
