I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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