I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
