the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
