So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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