hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
