I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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