So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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