dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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