We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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