also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
