I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize