idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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