On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
