I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
