There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
