i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think people are normalizing furries
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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