How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize