Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
