I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
