I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Even my vagina gasped.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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