Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize