what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
