do herpes really smell.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
