So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
