my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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