hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
