She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
