I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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