when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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