dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
