I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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