Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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