Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
