Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
