so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
