i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
