Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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