their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
