Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's blow job season.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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