So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize