32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
