we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
