First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
