Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
