This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
