would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
