You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm really busy with my period
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
