What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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