i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
