It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize