is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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