white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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