it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize