i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
